Managing Up

Whether you are a supervisor or manager, it is likely that you both supervise others and report to someone else.  It is as important to manage your boss as it is to effectively supervise others.

The Difficult Boss
If you experience your boss as difficult and have a real desire to improve the relationship, ask yourself -

Have I tried to understand the reasons for my boss' behavior?

If your boss is generally reasonable, the "difficult" behavior may be a result of stress overload, and chances are good that the way you respond can influence his/her behavior positively.  If, on the other hand, your boss' behavior seems to reflect a chronically hostile, abusive style of interacting, the chances are less positive that your actions will result in a positive behavior change.

  Am I managing my own negative emotions about his/her behavior so I do not engage in destructive behavior (e.g., stuffing emotions or counter-attacking)?

Once you have honestly addressed your reactions, you are in a better position to objectively and positively communicate your issues/concerns.  Framing your concerns in a helpful positive manner helps to set the tone for problem resolution.

Responding to Criticism
Most people dislike criticism, especially if there's merit to it.  See if you can begin to see the criticism as valuable information about how to do better rather than an indictment of your self-worth.  As an experiment, try seeing criticism as an opportunity to work in a different way with your boss on a larger plan, rather than being a victim of a power struggle.

If you feel the criticism has been unfair, prepare yourself to discuss your concerns rather than confront your boss.  There is a difference and it is helpful to know the difference before you meet.  This becomes a framework for the discussion.  Be factual, but not robotic.  Your voice or body language can give you away if you are feeling angry.  So practice modulating the tone of your voice and keep your body relaxed and dignified.  Even if you believe the criticism has been unfair, work to avoid further damage to your relationship. Refrain from becoming adversarial.

Support
If you feel you are not yet ready to manage this process yourself, consider consulting with an objective professional, such as a psychologist or executive coach.  Your collaboration with a professional may go a long way in making you feel more empowered to manage the stresses.

Reference:  APA Help Center